December 31, 2019. The last day of the year. The last day of a decade. On days like this many people ask “Where did the time go?” and surely, I am one of those people. Ten years is a long time—3,652 days—and like everyone else, I couldn’t tell you what I did on each of … Continue reading I Am Me. And That Is Enough.
December 30. Two days til the new year, a new decade. Newness. Tomorrow. The future. Is it an actual destination? Maybe. It will come. I may be here. I may not. I've operated on the possibility that I may not. And now I need to operate as if I may be here tomorrow. This is … Continue reading Tomorrow Will Come
December 29. The Journey is always a tough one. There are triumphs and setbacks, even flat out fails. As I walk this journey, I find that there are few who want to walk it with me. This is a source of anger for me. my counselor and I discussed this in our last session and … Continue reading A Journey To.
December 28. “Only God can judge me.” Antonio Brown tweeted this in response to a lawsuit filed against him alleging rape and sexual assault and, likely too a response to being released by the Patriots and put on the NFL’s no play list. I heard these words this morning before work and it made the … Continue reading Accountability is NOT Judgement
December 27. Struggling to find words tonight. Gotta lot on my mind but nothing is coherent right now. I'm trying to sort stuff out but all I seem to have is a funnel. Shit pours in, spins around and mixes up, tightens up and pours out into a great big mess. It feels like sorting … Continue reading Funneled Sand
Missed two days. December 24-spent the evening with my daughter. It was awesome. December 25-spent the day recovering from drinking the night before. December 26. The day after Christmas and there's much to unpack. My therapist recently tasked me with researching the reasons & importance of traditions because I don't have any and this is … Continue reading Distant Sister
December 23. I'm 23 days in. Daily reflections aren't always easy. Tonight I'm wondering what I should focus on. There's so much I'm dealing with. It's the holiday season and it seems that it's this time of year that many loved ones have passed and I can't help but to think about them. It's the … Continue reading Tired For Real
December 22. Two things I heard today that have no obvious connection but both are weighing on me so I will dive in today with these in mind. The first is the word somatic. Second is the phrase Love must be free. I've heard the word somatic many times but never really understood what it … Continue reading Love Must Be Free
December 21. Life. My undoing. As I read yesterday's post these words struck a chord. Up until now, life really has not been my doing even though I'm the one living it. These 50+ years, I've simply allowed life to take me where it wants, never contemplating the going part. Now it's time for me … Continue reading I Am Now!
December 20. I feel I am becoming repetitive tonight. I didn't see my therapist tonight as expected so I didn't get to unpack any of this stuff. It's quite disappointing. I feel like I may be on the verge of a breakthrough, though it may very well be a breakdown instead. Who knows. There's an … Continue reading Just Another Day