It is utterly and magnificently fascinating how I can be condemned for my behavior while my abuser is praised as a “great man.”
There’s a sickness here and while many will attribute the sickness to me and others like me, the sickness is in the silence and complicity of those who would allow an abusive person to continue to abuse. That’s truly sick. The abusive person didn’t change. They’ve been the same way this whole time. Some would have us believe that this “good man” would never do such harm to another person. You would call me a liar because you can see and condemn my own behavior as “deviant.” But the abuser you would believe to be innocent.
This is the sickness that needs to end. There’s no meds for this one. Only confrontation. And I am confronting those of you who think that the father, brother, mother, sister, uncle, aunt, cousin grandma, grandpop, preacher, teacher, nun, doctor, lawyer, judge, congressman, or president or CEO can’t be abusive simply because of the position they hold.
I am an unemployed, poor mother, daughter, sister, aunt and cousin whose behavior has been condemned as abusive and/or deviant. But when I call out my abuser, I’m merely making excuses. When my anxiety is at its peak, I’m being overly dramatic. When my depression won’t let up, I’m lazy. When I drink to free myself from the pain for a while, I’m an alcoholic.
Not ever have I been considered a person living in reaction to abuse. But the abuser is a “good man.”
But I’m living proof that the abuser is evil; for I have spent some 50 years living in reaction to that evil.
Call me and my life a whirlwind of excuses.
Call me an example of abuses.
Call me whatever you like;
But I’m calling you out to the fight.
If I am wrong for my reactional life,
Then I’m calling you all to join my little fight.
I’m calling for your voice;
I’m calling on you to make a life changing choice.
If my reactional life is somehow wrong,
Then your silence about abuse is an old and worn out song.
It’s time to #EndTheSilence
To help find the hope of resilience.
My voice will not be silent
As on healing I am bent.
Calling out the silence is part of the process
It makes folk uncomfortable, puts them under duress.
A necessary conflict
Among the silently complicit.
Holding their “peace”
For their own comfort and release.
I didn’t do it to you!
My most favored line.
It’s not my fault!
I’m told every time.
I’ve heard and said these phrases
Blaming everyone and no one
All throughout the ages
Never ’til now considering the Truth
That the silence about abuse
Is as hurtful as the aching tooth.